gin

Under no circumstances should any human being consume any amount of this product. Its flavor is of a liquor seeking to imitate gasoline, and the slightest taste of it is sufficient to compel horror and wincing for long afterward. It poisons any quantity of tonic water you may add to it. Neither vermouth nor bitters is up to the task of redeeming it. I would content myself to use it as a disinfectant, but its low proof makes me think it might be found wanting even in that use. I suppose it might be good for bartering following the breakdown of society in the wake of an earthquake, tsunami, or alien invasion.

A neat illustration of this gin’s social appeal: Beverages and More initially priced it at $18.99 per bottle. It is at present discounted to $6.99, and still there appear to be few takers.

I can’t imagine what went wrong. Beefeater’s standard London Dry is perfectly good, and their upper-shelf offering Beefeater 24 is better still. I suppose that everybody makes mistakes.

UPDATE: A reader suggests we could use the stuff as a paint thinner. We’ll see.

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The other night our friends Josh and Sarah brought over a bottle of Oxley Dry Gin for a tasting.

First things first, we tried a dry martini made with Oxley gin. Finding that we liked it in a martini, but weren’t getting enough information as to the taste of just the gin, we each had a small sip straight. None of us wanted to continue drinking it straight, but for the most part we are not straight gin drinkers. To finish we sampled Oxley in a sweet martini. Two martinis on a weeknight! What a special occasion this was.

Sarah noted that the gin taste of the gin finished quickly. This prompted an anonymous member of our party to shout “That’s what she said!” and some distracting giggles.

Josh surmised that Roger Moore would choose this particular gin for his martinis.

He later suggested that this is what Kitty Dukakis would drink to forget her problems… I suggested that he get a blog of his own to share these exciting insights.

Will noted Oxley’s very sharp taste, but I noticed a very sour taste on the tongue.  We all agreed it had a very harsh finish when drunk straight.

We all noted its juniper aroma (surprise! a gin with a juniper aroma!!) and that we liked it in both the dry and sweet martini. It must be noted that when Josh purchased this gin, he specifically asked for a gin that makes an excellent martini. Oxley Dry Gin does not disappoint on that front!

Cheers!

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